Good-Natured Revenge
Good-natured revenge. If it hasn’t been invented, it should be. Today is the day for some good-natured revenge, primarily on my friend, Peter Shea.
You see, today is March 31, the very last day of Women's History Month and all of you men, I’ve been watching you. Yes, all the mens.
Which ones of y’all would take a moment to celebrate the other 50% (give or take) of the planet’s humans? Historically, we have not been lifted up. We’ve been oogled, raped, been told “I love you” by our bosses inappropriately, and been told we’re “beautiful and ____ [fill in blank with less worthy characteristic]” Historically? Oh, I mean statistically for more than 80% of women LAST YEAR.
In 2020, I joined a group where I was led to believe that I was an equal leader to 2 other men. “Write a press statement, we’ll release it!” I was told. I followed the current political pattern “first woman in role.” But the statement was never released. Over the next 8 months, I cringed when I witnessed the group publicly praise women but behind closed doors make statements about how women needed to be treated because of how women looked ("I just can't help myself because she's so beautiful") or because of women's behaviors (I had to step in, she was hysterical!). I was an Only; the only woman in the C-suite. After bullying, harassment, and other financial issues, I quit.
Before, during, and after this, stood my friend Peter. When he asked me to be a co-admin of his Facebook Group, he didn't make a single comment like:
- It would be really nice to have a woman's voice around here.
- I'll put out a press release. Could you write it?
- With your arrival, our leadership is a perfect 50/50. That will keep the sexists off our backs.
He just let me get to work and do my part. And for the record, quite often, Peter and I do not agree. There are times he gets a little hot and I don't see the issue and vice versa. It makes me laugh when I point out clearly sexist situations but he's not bothered. But all in all, we balance.
Here is where we get to the revenge.
Peter found a GREAT article celebrating International Women's Day and shared it with me excitedly and privately. Peter is a great curator. But when you are on his internal share list, you get the BEST STUFF. And the article was truly great. Hidden research, Russian language, and amazing women who are still alive!!! And just like Peter, he had reached out to at least one women in the article and showed it to her and she didn't even know she was being written about, much less celebrated for IWD!
So I said Peter, share this on LinkedIn-- me thinking that I'll reshare his post then out to my network because it's great!
Oh he posts it alrighty. A single link. No comments. No hashtags. No tags OF the people in the article. Nothing.
I told him: "You drive me nuts."
So today is good-natured revenge. I'm sharing HIS wonderful selection on this LAST DAY of Women's History Month. Judy Singer. She's amazing. Read the whole article-- there are other great women too.
I'm adding my choice, Judith Harris, (Hat tip:Donald Clark) who I recently learned was the researcher who discovered the power of peers. I particularly like her for 2 reasons:
1. She really nailed that "Peers Matter More" idea, as Donald summarized it so well. I do not have a British accent, despite having a British mother. That's my Heuvelton peers and older brothers and sisters, thank you very much.
2. She is "unaffiliated"-- which I didn't know you could actually be-- and I am too. Thus, I'm really happy staying unaffiliated with my research. (It means unconnected to any institution.) Huzzah!
One final honorable mention: I did watch all the mens. One man did honor Women's History Month or IWD and as best as I can determine, he didn't do it to:
- Sell anything
- Because his job made him
- Because his wife made him
So Honorable Mention goes to Luke Hobson, who took a moment to celebrate women. Huzzah to you too Luke! Onward in our crazy story.