I'm rarely on time. I'm OK with that.

 

I've come to the point in my life where I've realized I'm rarely on time. And I'm OK with that. Said another way, I'm often late and I don't care.

So...let me explain myself, because I know I'm already driving Type As nuts.  I've had a lot of time to be on time and be late and a lot of time to think about why I'm very frequently late.  As an example, I was once a regular attendee of an exercise class but I turned into the person that was always walking in the door just as the class was already starting. At one point, I was a helper-instructor and I'd still be late. 

Why?

I thought about it at the time and the reason that just came to me was "Because I don't respect the instructor enough to be one time."

And that was the truth. I just didn't care THAT MUCH about the instructor to be on time. 

Now, now, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are plenty of folks that would say these kinds of things:

1. Oh, so you disrespect people, aye? You must be pleasant to work with.

2. Being late is being rude.

3. Being late means you miss important stuff. And no, we're not going to update you on what happened when you weren't here.

It's that last one-- the punishment one- that intrigues me but also, it's SO FAR BACK in the rear view mirror, I can't even see it.

You see, I look at this issue from the perspective of:

A. I was a student (this is relevant)

B. I was a college instructor

C. I've done presentations (gone places, done stuff).

And it was pretty shaping the day that I was LATE FOR CLASS in college because of a wicked bad winter snow storm. I barely made it in even remotely on time for my Chem 102 course. I remember at one point having some reason to explain to the prof why I was late (the roads, the snow, it was very slippery) and he quipped back about the advantage of carrying around a bag of cat litter in the trunk.  You know, I did do that later in life!

But this same prof always started his classes the same way: 

THIS DAY IN CHEMISTRY HISTORY

It was such a nice way to ease into the mental material. It was never on the exam (I'm looking at you, punishers) and you could miss it and live your life. It was also interesting-- even for listening as he did organizational cartwheels to connect what happened on this day (any given Monday, Wednesday, or Friday) with something that we learned-- not in ALL chemistry, which would have been easy-- but in JUST Chemistry 102 (acids/bases, types of chemicals). Yes I had to look that up, b/c I've forgotten whats in 101 versus 102.

So the day I was late with the snow and the car, the THIS DAY IN CHEMISTRY HISTORY saved me.

When I became a boss for the first time and organized the agenda for weekly team meetings, we had a THIS DAY IN SCIENCE HISTORY thing at the beginning so that people could be late.

I loved that tip. Create meetings so that people can be late.

(Bonus points if you also create meetings so that people can leave early. Hey, hey!)

But once I became an instructor, I would also EASE IN to instruction for each online webinar. I never started my content on the dot (exactly on time). Why? Because students *could* always be late.

I'd remember my own Type A self in college. She was late, but it was not her fault. So...I guess there are situation where a person can be late and it is NOT their fault. 

Said another way, if there is a chance that a person could be late and it is not their fault, why haul out the punishment wagon?

-- Pause to think about that --

So I don't go down for punishing folks that are late for my meetings or my presentations. I figure, life sucks enough. I don't need to be going to make it more difficult for folks.

But I also want to point out that I was NEVER late for my own teaching lessons (my webinars) and I'd go out of my way to be early. I actually taught new online faculty that they should engage in what I called the Prechat Chat. That is, use an open mic and a chat pod to encourage engagement and 'warm up' the audience. For example:

• make sure that you can be heard.
• Ask everyone a question that their own unique answer is correct.
• Run an informal contest for who has the most...darkest night, coldest temperature, hottest temperature, whatever. Be careful with this one, tho. REFRAIN from judging what a person thinks of weather conditions. It's really not fair (and is discriminatory) because people often live in places that they did NOT decide to live (but are there for reasons like a job, or family, or cost, or whatever) so judging the weather that a person has is like judging the person's decisions. Just. Don't.  If someone says that Miami at 56 degree is hell, let them have it.  Even better. Agree. (It really is, cold, sticky, ugh.)

So there are folks that I know that I've been late to meetings with them. I'll say it point blank. I just don't care that much about you. I'm not uncaring about our relationship. Actually, I'll probably do some fall-all-over-myself excuses about how it was not my fault.

But the truth is, I just give very little value to being on time. If I'm teaching you, I'm there. I'm there early.

If not, I'll get there when I get there. After all, a wizard arrives precisely when she means to.

The End.

P.S. In the wacky spirit of one of my favorite newsletters: Random factoid. The cassette most played in my car during college days was The Immaculate Collection from Madonna.